In the now...

I had a little bit of a revelation this morning.

Today is not nearly strong enough to bear the weight of the past and the future. You just have to let it be today.

I have been aware of this truth for most of my life, but there is a clear difference between being aware of an idea and experiencing an idea. The revelation was that today I experienced the idea... and remembered how incredibly easy it is to do. There was nothing unique or special about point of awareness. In fact, it was actually just a daily routine. I just kind of woke up and realized that I could just be present, content and interested in what was happening.

I remember that someone commented to me at one point in my life that they loved how I was always very present and living in the moment. I think it is easy to lose that, and I think I did for a long time. The trick is that it is as subtle as a brainwave shift; like muscle memory, but with the mind. On the plus side, I think it is easy to maintain once you get into the proper mindset.

So here's to living, right now.

Why I'm not a 'militant' vegan

I've been asked, a lot, why I'm not a more 'militant' vegan... if it is so important to me and all.

Partially, it is the result of not wanting to tell other people what they should believe. Mostly, however, it is that I really just don't think it will do any good with at least 95% of people. You will only be vegan if you actually empathize not only with animals, but with animals that have no direct interaction with you. Most people don't empathize with animals as much as me, and most people don't empathize nearly as much with people (let alone animals) who don't have direct interaction with them as they do with people/animals they know or have some relationship with.

So I see the problem as a core level compulsion issue and virtually irreversible in almost everyone. I am not vegan because I expect to change the world, I'm vegan because it is what I think is right and I am responsible for my own actions. I would like others to change, but militance does not accomplish that in my opinion. Until I can figure out a way to get people to truly, and intensely empathize with all animals (and people for that matter), I do not believe I have a course to improve the status quo. I'll keep trying to think of effective ways to do that I guess :)

Conflicted

I'm a bit of a Nihilist. I point it out because I find it notably odd that I simultaneously empathize highly and am emotionally compelled to the point of personal sacrifice, while also feeling that none of it really matters. Go figure.

I just came to a realization a long time ago that the human condition is what I live in, despite being aware that it is in no way unique or special in the universe (i.e. just a complex system that has meaning within itself and to itself). So I participate because it's the only thing I'm designed to do, and not participating is essentially fighting one's own nature, which may seem valiant, but just leads to an unpleasant life in my opinion. I'm talking high-level participation here... I'm down with fighting the established social norms and standard mentalities, but I'm still participating in the act of being human. So my sense of caring, empathizing, acting and communicating about my 'ethical' concerns is always somewhat precariously perched on the unstable base of the presupposition of irrelevance. How awesome is that.

Meaning in the Arts

There was a short lunch discussion the other day which got me thinking about the underlying purpose of art (in all of its forms). I know from personal experience that art and music can be core motivators of life. I certainly can't guarantee that everyone feels compelled by them in any way, but obviously many do.

I personally see all art as expression. I see humans as primarily social beings. It makes sense that expression would touch a string in most of us. However, it also seems that some people gain an amazing amount just from the act of creating. I don't get that extensively with visual art, although there is some, but I definitely have that experience with music. I often don't care if anyone ever hears it.

I'm curious if part of it is essentially communicating with our own more primitive or subconscious thoughts. Music, for me, definitely communicates on a very core level. I don't even always understand why something is musically compelling (sometimes I intellectually identify interesting components), but part of me clearly reacts.

Where do words fit into the equation? Imagery? I think maybe I'm not talking about the arts in general, but specifically instrumental music and possibly abstract art. I have a deep love for language and detailed imagery, but that's not really what I'm thinking of with these comments.

I think maybe one of the reasons I react so clearly to music without lyrics, and playing music without lyrics, is that it is a very raw and intuitive form of communication that I cannot apply clear filters to. I have never had notably strong reactions to abstract art though, which is slightly confusing in that regard... seems like it would have a similar effect.

I am definitely analytical to an extreme when it comes to language and conscious thought in general... obviously. I can't experience anything without analyzing it seven ways from sunday (for instance, I really don't understand what that phrase means, but I just ran through a possible etymology in my head ;) ). Perhaps instrumental music (and wordless or other language vocals) allow me to communicate in a way that is more native, essential and relaxed.

See, this is why I like talking to myself... I figure things out. It's like what I do in my head all of the time, except documented for future reference :)

Liberty

I wish the price and payment for liberty could be more evenly distributed among those who desire or enjoy it. If all of those who have and want freedom would stand up and take action, all at once, the few who impose their will on the many would cower and fade into irrelevance. Oppression of a people is an insidious evil that preys on the misconception that someone else will step in and save our freedoms. It is up to us, and the more of us who confront it together, the less each of us will have to sacrifice.

Existence, Origins, and Creation

Comments from a Facebook discussion:

Michael Hines tries to always realize, at least once a day, that our very existence is utterly amazing. It helps recalibrate the scale.